optimustic | (no subject)

(no subject)

[ A robot just died outside the Mess Hall. What do you do? ]

((open to anyone!))

It is, of course, well within standard procedure to perform a full autopsy. Make sure he's well and truly offline this time.

[you guys are jerks]

[hey, you heard the doctor, we need an official medical opinion, and that just happens to involve cutting you open]

Exactly. I'm glad we're on the same page here.

But I do have to know what organs our esteemed former Lord will be ... donating.

And why.

A full patient history is so important, you know.

I seem to have misplaced my... well, my T-cog.

[Only you, Starscream. Only you.]

"Misplaced" ... your T-cog. Do tell.

There was an... altercation involving a bunch of humans who were shockingly well equipped.

Here?!

Y-yes, here. In camp.

Then retrieving your own T-cog should be no problem.

Yes, were it not regretfully destroyed by those insolent little fleshbags!

Then it's only fair to take an equivalent part from them.

I think vengeance can wait until I'm fixed, thank you.

[Fuck vengeance, I just want to cut up some squishy things.]

... Yes. Well. I suppose.

[ewww, steal human kidneys in your own time]

For now, there's only the problem of the Prime in our way.

Is he planning on keeping the body as a trophy of war? He didn't seem the type.

It would seem his Autobot sentiments have led him to actually mourn the demise of our leader.

[clearly amused by this]

They are a sentimental lot. But! He surely won't deny us the right to give our illustrious leader a ... proper memorial.

If there's one single thing not to underestimate here, it's his stubbornness.

You want the T-cog, you get the donor.

Fine. But be ready for anything.

Of course.

[By "be ready" you of course mean "be ready to transform and flee at high speeds, abandoning Starscream at the first sign of things going badly" right? Right.]

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